So You Want to Make a Movie?

Well, yes. Actually, the staff here at realitique™ headquarters beneath Sav-A-Center in our concrete, electromagnetically shielded bunker is busily working on the script and hitting up friends and connections for roles and general aid. When we get a short clip produced, don't worry, we'll be begging for change, so save up those nickels and dimes boys and girls. And if you can act, have piles of disposable cash or loose morals and a willingness to deceive or steal, know anything about film, have access to equipment or famous filmmakers, journalists, politicians or actors, or just like traveling with me and doing grunt work or making coffee and sandwiches, let me know. My bet is, after Nov. 7, you'll be so used to giving away your money that you'll come begging to me to take yours, which I will gladly do. This is a nearly zero-budget Indie flick, with the first round of financing provided by yours truly. Fortunately, it's a mockumentary, so aside from hotels, food and plane fare, it's close to free (well, once I finish buying the equipment). Working Title: Tim Osman Wants to Kill Your Children. In case you're concerned, it's a political satire based on the government's propensity to invent enemies as excuses for war. I know, sounds hilarious, but the god is in the details, o my brothers....

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