You Might Be a Republican If

Take the test.

Do I think you're an idiot if you vote Republican? No, but at the very least, I think you're in extreme denial. Or you're too lazy for words.

Uh, Yeah, That

Not only did 12+ foreign intelligence services warn the US that Bin Laden was about to strike (and the Joint Chiefs of Staff cancelled their travel plans for 9/11), but Rice was warned strongly by Tenet and Cofer Black about an impending attack. She did nothing. Atrios may think there's a simple explanation for My Pet Goat, but given the available evidence, the plausible explanation is a bit more severe.

UPDATE: Raw Story reports on what the, er, NYT reports. Why didn't I link directly to the NYT's account? I don't bother reading them. I don't bother with the MSM, even when they (rarely) do their jobs--and I mean that as a criticism of owners and editors, not reporters, who often see their stories killed. The MSM is on life-support. There's no reason to read them. Read Raw Story, Online Journal and Global Research if you want to know what the fuck's going on in the world.

Fuck of the Day

Y'know, that's probably the first time I've used the word "fuck" on this blog in its original meaning. Anyway, here's some hot pom-on-pom action, compliments of YouTube. I was inspired to search for "pomeranian" because my 5-lb., 10-year-old dog, Boudin, has been beleaguered of late by Mr. Kibbles, a 7-month-old, unneutered pomeranian, the ward of the neighbor of my ex-girlfriend Amanda. (Amanda was dogsitting for me during "vacation.") I have not met Mr. Kibbles, but I'm told he's, um, "eager," and given his lust for my poor spayed pooch, he likes older women, especially ones who don't like him. Last time this happened, my dog was the object of affection of a French bull dog, who quit showing off once Boudin barked at him, warning him off a chew toy. Pussy. My question is, given the sheer amount of fur on a pomeranian, how does a male find the (as Ali G would say) poonany?

UPDATE: Turns out, I did use the verb in its original meaning at least once before.

Forgive Her

The most deplorable bill ever passed in these United States, a disgusting legalization of torture, contrary to what any conservabot asserts, was helped along by Senatrix Mary Landrieu. I've said it before and will continue to do so: She can vote pro-Bush until this city is rebuilt. As Schroeder and Oyster have said, we're all wearing the blue dress now. And Mary's much hotter than Monica's wet dreams. I hate the unelected president of our once decent country, but Louisiana is his bitch. He should take care, though, lest his bitch strangle him one night while he sleeps, dreaming of his beloved autocracy.

Cat Head Theater Presents Hamlet

I don't remember cats swatting at butterflies in the original stage directions, but I think it's appropriate to the scene. Note: If you still haven't listened to Falafelsex's "Tequila" below (cure for what ails ya), please do so; it's a riot.

Liquid Explosives? Pshaw!

Nafeez Ahmed, the brilliant author of the must-read The War on Truth, reports the latest on last month's faux terror plot.

Note: If you want the most reliable, open-source, damning information on how and why the US gov't perpetrated 9/11, read Ahmed's book. It's overwhelming, and it doesn't even touch on the controlled demolition of the WTC or the plane that did or didn't hit the Pentagon.

Iraq to US: Stay the Course.

Not. (Via Raw Story.)

Condi Rice: Liar

Not a surprise, but here you go.

UPDATE: The Daily Show features clips on Condi's typical lying shenanigans. Then again, she was right to assert post-9/11 that "there were no warnings" and that "nobody could have predicted they would use planes as missles." And the August 6 PDB was merely "historic"; the ambiguous, misleading title was only "Bin Laden Determined to Strike within the United States." Who could blame her for not acting against Al Qaeda?

UPDATE: Olbermann runs down the Clarke plan the Clintonistas developed for lyin' Condi and what she didn't do with it.

Another non-NIE NIE

On the heels of the revelation that a (probably purged) version of the recent Iraq/Patterns of Global Terrorism National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) will be declassified, TPM Muckraker reveals that there's another NIE on the same subject waiting in the wings. Josh Marshall reports:

Hill sources tell TPMmuckraker that the administration has been sitting on the report, trying to prevent its dissemination before the election, presumably. And it turns out, from what we've heard, that this NIE actually hasn't been given the official "NIE" label because doing that would have required sharing it with various members of Congress.

Call your congresscritter and tell them to demand this other report be released as well.

Doublespeak Newsweek

Your state-influenced Chinese American media at work. (Via C&L.)

Stop Hiding, and Start Living

Nature's cure for what ails ya.

UPDATE: I don't know what's in that shit, but my only unforgiveably embarrassing moments came from drinking too much of it. In the only instance I'm willing to repeat (Amanda knows the one I'm not willing to), I attended an office party for Innovative Emergency Management with a hot German chick who, at one point, plopped down a bottle of Cuervo (I actually went to college with a Puerto Rican named Jose Cuervo--not kidding). That's the last thing I remember. The next Monday, my officemate informed me that I'd poured the remainder of the bottle over our receptionist's head and offered to lick it off. I was being honest, and would still love to do that, but red-faced and shuffling, I apologized to her. Had I been sober, I would've known that no one would enjoy having Cuervo poured over them, no matter how it may have been removed.

Who Dat?

Now I'm one of those rare straight men who doesn't watch sports, but I always like it when the Saints win. Given the prison-bitch condition New Orleans is in, last night's inaugural win at the renovated Dome was some kinda sweet. We really needed it.

UPDATE: It's hard to explain, but reading Chris Rose's piece in today's paper made me cry. Then again, so much around here makes so many of us cry. We cried every day for months. Now we just cry once or twice a week.

UPDATE: If you don't know the quintessential New Orleans song "Hey Pock A-way," listen to it here (requires plugin). I don't ordinarily name-drop, but as the ex-roommate of the most famous young drummer in the world (literally), Brian Blade, I have him to thank for introducing me to The Meters--and he can thank his Baptist-preacher dad for introducing him to same.

We Must Disenthrall Ourselves

We've needed another Edward R. Murrow for decades now. At last, we have one. Thank you, Mr. Olbermann.

Ah, the Good Ole Daze

A brief primer on the last time we overthrew the Iranian gov't. Note: Last time, it was a citizen-oriented, progressive democracy that we overthrew in favor of a snivelling dictator. Don't you just love our foreign policy? Fortunately, we haven't learned a thing.

Pogue Mahone

I've been in Ireland for the last week, with one of realitique™'s mystery reporters. It was a good trip, despite a relapse of the horror-show sinus problems I had a few weeks ago that led me to overdose on pseudoephedrine and wind up in the ER. Trust me, if I told you the details of the malady, you'd understand why I OD'd. Anyway, I hadn't been to Ireland before. We went to Dublin and Gallway, which was beautiful. Highlights: the cliffs of Mohr and the Guinness brewery (free samples! and a view of all of Dublin).

What I learned: Stewardesses are petty tyrants. Maybe not all of them, but after years of flying, my dense brain finally caught on to the striking similarity between kindergarten teachers and stewardesses. A hefty percentage of both professions is filled with people who love to tell others what to do and take argument little better than cops do. Example: When we were about to land at JFK, a Jennifer-Connelly-looking stewardess told me to put my shoulder bag in the overhead compartment. I complied, but (god forbid) sighed. She turned and walked back to me and told me in no uncertain terms that it was "for safety reasons." I pointed out that I hadn't said anything, and she responded, "I heard you sigh." Um, yeah, okay. Sorry for registering my discontent. Pogue mahone.

If I can locate (or purchase) the wire for my camera, I'll post what few pictures I took.

Sorry, Nancy

God forbid a foreign leader (and one who cares about the citizenry) should call Il Duce "el diablo." So of course the Dems have to hurry to denounce his remarks, lest any prospective voter should think...I dunno, that...well, I don't know why. Saying nothing would not indicate support. It may well indicate that one thinks Chavez's remarks irrelevant or unimportant. Or it may indicate agreement. Anyway, there's little point in denouncing Chavez's remarks. Not just because Chavez is right, but because the people who were in a lather over the weekend over said remarks are the people who won't vote for Democrats anyway. Do something useful, Nancy: Attack the GOP and the president on security. Their policies are disastrous and anti-American and the majority of the public thinks the Democrats are better on security/defense than the Republicans. Not that I'd expect Democrats or, god forbid, our GOP-fellating national media to read any polls....

GOP Congress Fails to Finish Destroying America

Republican Congressman admits that, unfortunately, recognizable parts of America remain intact.

Well, there's always next session....

David Frum Sniffs Own Colon

The Frumster reveals that he hasn't read any liberal blogs, let alone their comments sections. Of course, this is to be expected. He is a conservative pundit. That means (usually), that he lies, dissembles and never knows what he's talking about.

Remember When...

We had a president worthy of the title? Question: Why do conservatives hate America?

The Stupidest Shit on the Planet

[Please include some use of the word fuck.] I've singled out this asshole before, but he keeps besting himself. I wouldn't bother except that he makes Assrocket look like an intelligent being. Anyway, enjoy. Or don't. (Warning: He can't figure out how to give a permalink so you have to go to the comments and click on "original post." Sorry.)

I'm not sure, since various neurosurgeons would know better, but if you're willing to vote Republican right now, I strongly suspect you're an idiot, retarded or some kind of lobotomized hybrid. My own father falls into that category, as does my architect uncle in California who introduced me to Monty Python. I'm not sure why he's an authoritarian, but apparently he is. You want to vote for Bush? Fine. Don't talk to me. If you read news and still support this guy, then you are off the fucking map. Seriously. As in, you're a Brobdignaggian. You don't have the intelligence or interest in reality to comment on anything. Go fuck yourself.

UPDATE (not really): I haven't read the comments and probably won't. Anyway, that last bit was over the top. No, don't go fuck yourself, just don't vote. Or at least do your homework first (no, that doesn't mean read presidential statements and conservablogs, it means read actual sources and news reports, like the rest of us do).

9/11: They Did It

Sure, Atrios and other motherfuckers won't tell you what you're talking about.

Politics

One of my favorite poems:

In our time the destiny of man presents its meanings in
political terms
- Thomas Mann

HOW can I, that girl standing there,
My attention fix
On Roman or on Russian
Or on Spanish politics?
Yet here's a travelled man that knows
What he talks about,
And there's a politician
That has read and thought,
And maybe what they say is true
Of war and war's alarms,
But O that I were young again
And held her in my arms!

That Darned Gee Oh Pee

Recently I informed my dad that, depending on how events played out in November, I might be leaving the country. (Will I? I don't know, but I thought I should warn a few people that I might.) I mentioned that I could no longer support the GOP and hoped never to vote for any of their candidates again (that's a polite way of rendering what I wrote). Several days later--a bit longer than it usually takes--he sent me a couple of grafs in reply. The main one read:

Sorry, I am not a blog reader and I do not understand what all you have been saying of a political nature. Your mother and I did not raise you to be a democrat. What is the specific issue? Are you involved in a civic capacity to improve situations or just complaining?

(Emphasis mine.)

I'm not sure what my dad meant by "just complaining," since that's what all the howling monkeys on the unhinged Right were doing for Clinton's two terms--with a stained dress as a pitiful excuse. I wouldn't term screaming about the shredding of the Fourth Amendment "just complaining." Be that as it may, I found it amusing that my father called forth the reason that he and my long-deceased mother didn't "raise" me to be a democrat. So true. Neither did they raise me to be an atheist, a libertine, a well-read and -educated person, a writer, an artist or anything else, for that matter. I much appreciate that they encouraged me to do what I wanted and what suited my talents. I have many friends who were torn apart early in life thanks to sick parental policies which I had none of. So kudos for my parents. But my dad has no right to mention how I was raised. He was raised a Catholic or Universalist, depending on which parent you speak of; he was also raised to beat children, drink copious amounts of liquor and indulge in "engineering." So what?

Presumably, my father didn't raise me to get divorced. And yet I did just that. Neither was he raised to remarry before my mother was in the ground a year. Nor was either of us raised to be a serial killer, a philanderer, a thief or a greedy politico. My answer to my unthinking father: Tough shit.

Analogy of the Day

Plenty of die-hard Bushies still insist that everything's fine, there's no reason to worry about the shredding of the Constitution, war powers are absolute and they always dial down, etc. Good for them. But take a gander at the attitudes of most German citizens following the Reichstag fire and Hitler's assumption of extra-Constitutional powers:

The overwhelming majority of Germans did not seem to mind that their personal freedom had been taken away, that so much of culture had been destroyed and replaced with a mindless barbarism, or that their life and work had become regimented to a degree never before experienced even by a people accustomed for generations to a great deal of regimentation.... The Nazi terror in the early years affected the lives of relatively few Germans and a newly arrived observer was somewhat surprised to see that the people of this country did not seem to feel that they were being cowed.... On the contrary, they supported it with genuine enthusiasm. Somehow it imbued them with a new hope and a new confidence and an astonishing faith in the future of their country.

Fuck the Fourth Amendment. Our Glorious Il Duce will lead us into the shining corporatist future!

The London Bojinka Plot: Pre-Fab Pseudo Terror

Nafeez Ahmed, the author of the shocking, damning analysis of 9/11 The War on Truth, has a lot to say about the latest UK scary terror plot.

He also has a blog.

Highly recommended. If you want to know what's really going on, Ahmed is the most insightful, thorough analyst next to Michael Chossudovsky. By far the two best sites for cutting-edge information that even blue bloggers won't report are The Online Journal and Global Research.

The New Iraqi Robocracy

Since the prospects for democracy in Iraq are looking a bit, um, thin, Wonkette held a poll for which alternative they should try. The winner? Robocracy. Be sure to read the whole list at the end.